"I'm tired of living for eternity..."
How Screwtape's 15th letter literally changed my life.
“I’m tired of living for eternity. When do I get to care about the life I’m living now?”
These words stuck with me long after a person I love had deconstructed and chosen to walk away from Jesus. It was one of many questions that demonstrated just how much we’d been sold a version of Christianity in which God did not really care about us, our lives, the circumstances that we are living in right now.
The underbelly of the question clung to the peripheries of my own faith: why was it, actually, that every decision we were asked to make had to be based “in eternity” and not in the present? And what did “based in eternity” even mean? Did my high school church leaders realise how distant and unobtainable eternity – and God, by extension – sounded?
IF everything we do is “rooted in eternity” and eternity is some vague, far off, inaccessible “someday,” then what are we to make of our present lives? And what of God’s goodness? What of His desire to care for the suffering and joy which we experience on a moment-by-moment basis?
Are we just slaves to an unknown future on the other side of death, asked to discard the lives we lead in exchange for the “someday” we’ve been promised?
My spirit never seemed satisfied by this conclusion, and yet, I couldn’t ignore the valid frustrations that my deconstructing friend expressed. This was, indeed, the narrative we’d both been sold. And the implications made for a faith (and a God) that was both complacent and cruel. If the Christian life is a constant chase of the rainbow’s end, a constant game of roulette in which we hope and pray that God will eventually drop the dangling carrot, then why bother?
In a word, the Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity.
- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters, Letter 15
The first time that I read Screwtape, this letter went completely over my head. But by college, when I re-read it, the beauty of Chapter 15 literally changed my relationship with time, eternity, and God Himself.
The simple, profound, yet easily obscured truth of the matter is that when Christians think that the word “eternity” is another word for “the future,” they find themselves believing the exact fallacy which brings Satan such joy: namely, that our present lives are unimportant, not just to us but to God.
In fact, what Lewis draws our attention to in Letter 15 (my favourite letter in the entire book) is the dazzling revelation that eternity starts now.
“The Present is all lit up with eternal rays,” Screwtape laments.
Do you know what this means for us as God’s creation?
It means that the work and rest and worship that we carry out every single day is the work of eternity – not just for some future reward but for the very real present moment in which our God is deeply invested (because far from being indifferent or cruel, He is in fact the embodiment of kindness, tenderness, love, and mercy).
This mindset shift on eternity is quite literally an embodiment of the Lord’s prayer:
His Kingdom come (now).
His will be done (now).
On Earth (now) as it is in Heaven (now).
Suddenly, it seems, our theology can pivot. Our view of God’s concern for our lives can expand. Our ability to bask in the eternal rays of the present moment can increase. We can stop white-knuckling it. The exhausting, never-ending chase for the rainbow’s end can instead turn into a deep exhale – one that sounds an awful lot like “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”1
I hope you’ll join us for this episode of Magic Like This, where I talk with current Oxford theology student, Blair Milo, about the revolutionary shifts that we can experience in our relationship with time, faith, hope, and God Himself as we discover what it truly means to live for eternity by way of being present. (Because perhaps the present moment is more deeply connected to the eternal future than our youth group pastors ever let on).
Ultimately, we’re reminded that in looking back to our past, living in our present, or staring ahead towards our future, the invitation was never to store up points for the next life. No, the real invitation is to root our hope in the truly eternal – because eternity is not a point on a timeline but rather a Person who knows us each by name.
All my love,
Listen to this week’s episode:
Book Club Discussion Questions:
Has eternity always felt like a “someday” thing, not a “right now” thing? Where did that idea first start for you?
How might the way you practice your faith shift if you started treating eternity as something you’re participating in right now?
Has your relationship with eternity influenced how you feel towards God? If so, how?
If eternity starts now, how might you treat today differently?
Links and episode mentions:
The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis
My essay on my Oxford interview: I tanked my Oxford interview, and this is what it taught me...
Surprised by Hope by Tom Wright
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Matthew 11:30